GOD HATES... [30 Mar 2005|01:43am] [ mood | grateful ] [ music | taking back sunday ] well...i have been up all night reading about things that i have no idea about. like serial killers and people who have been raped and people who have had hard lives and then i went to godhatesfags.com. ive been there before but i never really looked cause i thought it was stupid. but i thought how could i bash somthing i knew nothing about. so i decided to read. every little thing there was to read. the way i felt after i read this stuff is freakin unreal. the only message i got was GOD HATES. god hates fags...god hates america...god hates jews...god hates love, ok it didnt say god hates love but im very surprised it didnt. oh yeah. thank GOD for 9/11. thank god for aids. i dont even know what to think. they said "people are burning in hell" how in the HELL do they know? have they been there? did God tell them that? "Matthew Shepard has been in hell for 2361 days." when i first saw that...i laughed. cause its just so stupid. but then i thought what if one of my friends or family members died because of a hate crime and i saw their name on this web site. i wouldnt be laughing. i dont knwo why i get all worked up because of things that i can never change. but it bothers the hell out of me. i dont think i know everything. i dont htink what i believe is what everyone else should believe. the things they talk about scare me. make me feel sick. are they going to scare me enough to beg god to forgive me for being a "fag" and change. HELL no. im fine. i know i am. i know im not going to burn in hell. im sick of reading all these lines from the bible. you know what. i talk to God. God talks back. i should write a bible! i dont think God took a pen wrote the bible. actually i know he didnt. im open to reading what they write. i bet a lot of "fags" are. a part of me wants to make a website called "Godhateshate.com" but what in the hell would that do!? plus id be just like them. in the end we will all find out. they think its going to be a wake up call when "we" die. when fags die. we will just go to hell and burn forever. i think it will be a wake up call for them. but a good one. they will feel nothing but happiness. also that website says people who dont believe in the bible and hell and stuff just dont want to becaue they want to keep sinning. i have probably commited just as many sins as they have. besides the fact that im a "fag". which i dont believe is a sin. well ill stop balbing to my self. here are some things i found on there that caught my eye. just a few. Doesn't the Bible say that God loves everyone? no, you are thinking of "God is love." God certainly is love, toward His elect (His children). But He certainly is not love toward the reprobate (children of the devil). That's why His elect go to heaven, and the reprobate go to hell. In Romans 9:13, which says "As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated", Jacob is a representative of God's elect, while Esau is a representative of the reprobate. In Romans 1, the word "reprobate" is used to describe fags. Fags are reprobate. God hates reprobates. Therefore, God hates fags. Why do you preach hate? Because the Bible preaches hate Doesn't God forgive everyone? No. God will have mercy on whom He will have mercy, and whom He will He hardeneth (Romans 9:18). Do you ever pray for the salvation of those who you feel are condemned? Of course not! For, if we follow (as we ought) the example of our Saviour and the clear commandment of God, we would not dare to do so. Didn't Jesus die for everyone? No. Jesus died only for His sheep (John 10). His church (Ephesians 5:25). His elect (I Peter 1:2). If He died for everyone, everyone would go to heaven. All sins of all people would be forgiven. But obviously, all sins aren't forgiven, because people are burning in hell. What are your views on abortion? Abortion is murder. God hates baby-killers. What about lesbians? Lesbians are just female fags. They're sinners, too. See Romans 1:26 Where does the Bible say that homosexuality is a sin? Where did Jesus say anything about homosexuality? But before they lay down, the men of the city, [even] the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter: And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where [are] the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them...Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground." Genesis 19:4-5, 24-25. "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination." Leviticus 18:22. "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them...And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them." Leviticus 20:13, 23. Why are you so harsh? Because the truth is harsh. We use great plainness of speech, and will not beat around the bush when it comes to someone's eternal soul. Watch out for those people who tell you that it's okay to be gay - they'll take you to hell with them Aren't all sins equal in God's eyes? No. "Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee HATH THE GREATER SIN." John 19:11. How do you know the Bible is correct? The Bible has God's divine imprimatur stamped on every page, where I know that God is speaking to me. You can pretend that the Bible is not the Word of God, but we know that deep down inside, you know it's the truth. However, you most likely will continue to pretend that you do not believe it, because it testifies that you and your works are evil. You are engaged in a deep, dark sin, and you want to keep living in that sin. My job is to tell you what the Bible says; God's job is to open your heart to understand it (if He so wills). 2 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

I So Hate Consequences [15 Oct 2004|03:51pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | people screaming, " whats your excuse for being a loser now" ] And I’m good, good, good to go I got to get away Get away from all of my mistakes So here I sit looking at the traffic lights The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites I want to run away I want to ditch my life Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night And after all of my alibis desert me I just want to get by I don’t want nothing to hurt me I had no idea where my head was at But if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that Because I just want for all of this to end And I so hate consequences And running from you is what my best defense is Consequences Oh God, don’t make me face up to this And I so hate consequences And running from you is what my best defense is Cause I know that I let you down And I don’t want to deal with that It just now hit me this is more than just a set back And when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn’t get that And every trace of momentum is gone And this isn’t turning out the way I want And after all of my alibis desert me I just want to get by I don’t want nothing to hurt me I had no idea where my head was at But if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that Because I just want for all of this to end And I spent all last night Tearing down Every stoplight And stop sign in this town Now I think there might Be no way to stop me now I'll get away despite The fact I’m so weighed down All of my escapes have been exhausted I thought I had a way but then I lost it And my resistance was once much stronger And I know I can't go on like this much longer When I got tired of running from you I stopped right there to catch my breath There your words they caught my ears You said, “I miss you son. Come home” And my sins, they watched me leave And in my heart I so believed The love you felt for me was mine The love I’d wished for all this time And when the doors were closed I heard no I told so’s I said the words I knew you knew Oh God, Oh God I needed you God all this time I needed you, I needed you can u bring me my chapstick?

for now I'll look so longingly,waiting.for you to want me,for you to need me for you to notice me. [09 Oct 2004|01:31pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | dashboard confessional ] um i dont really know what to say im just bored and i felt like typing. i dont see what i do that is so bad. all i want is for everyone to be happy. thats all. and to make people laugh. thats all. but people say im a liar and i tlk crap. and im just soo bad. but when i lie. its to protect my friends. so i dont hurt ne one. but it doesnt matter im the worst person in the damn world. oh yah and people only want to be with me when im funny. or making people laugh. what about when im sad. or when somthing happends that makes me depressed. its not allowed. who the hell am i supposed to talk to when im sad. i cant go to my "friends" cause im not fun then. its bs. i dont deserve this. but whats stupid is. im not worried about having somone to talk to. im worried that one day. i wont have these "friends". i dont think i could live with out them. even if they do hurt me a lot. i would go crazy with out them.  but i think you dudes might kno who u r. prolly not tho. they think they r perfect. they dont make me sad. thats what they think. but as long as they r happy. im happy. can u bring me my chapstick?

My heart is the worst kind of weapon [24 Sep 2004|01:14am] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | Fall Out Boy ] Why is the bedroom so cold Turned away on your side? Is my timing that flawed, our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives Love, love will tear us apart again Drink down that Gin and Kerosene, And come spit on bridges with me, Just to keep us warm. Light a match to leave me be. Light a match to leave me be. I'll keep my jealousy close, 'Cause it's all mine. And if you say this makes you happy, Then I'm not the only one lying.   the blood from my heart is goin through to my chest everyone always tells me that i look good in red does it make me crazy because i think about death so i can kill all the pain and keep all the rest people say there is a hell they need to stop and see compared to this world how much worse can hell really be? why would God love us and then send us away? we are born into sin we all make mistakes i dont believe everything the bible states like youre going to hell just because you are gay why would God put these feelings inside of my heart then spit in my face and tear me apart why believe in a God when you very well may be living you life the wrong way and then when you die you'll have to pay?   can u bring me my chapstick?

If I could make this old town new again,Color other than blue again.Id have something to do again... [30 Aug 2004|07:29pm] [ mood | sore ] [ music | Tim McGraw ] HEY LOSERS! well what has been goin on? hmm not much. i had my first socca game. we lost 1-0 and ew it was all my fault! but o well...ummm yesterday i went to frankies game and i hung out with the 2 brats! emily...hannah! oh yah and i think somone named  kayla was there or somthin like that. lol jk. . but omg dude wasnt the "tiffany likes girls" and the stabbing hannah in the tummy thing so funy.... woah buddy. good laugh. but ne who...what else...um i got the tim McGraw CD!! omg i love it! soooo good. and awwwwww i get to see ms can hook everyday ! i love her! lol. im like a teachers pet man it EVERY CLASS! its sad. o well there is no cool people in my classes just the teachers r cool shoot. aww i love nicole! dude i thnk ur lookin in my window to see what im wearin cause we match like every day! lol jk . lauren! i will kill that man who choked u man! fo real! just say the word! : ( ! hmm. i got my TBS ticket like shoot a couple weeks ago! its like a year away but o wel! at least i kno i can go fa sho!  umm oh yah... abby. my icon thing wont work. so for now. I LOVE ABBY! lol. thats the icon. hah. hope u like. hmmmmm. i think thats it. boreing i kno i kno. but o well shoot. no one is askin u to read it shoot! jk jk THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT! 2 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

I'm lying just to keep you here.so wreckless so thoughtless so careless.and i could care less [09 Aug 2004|06:41pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Taking Back Sunday ] OMG MS VAN HOOK IS THE COOLEST PERSON ALIVE!  i love her! fav teacher already! i wish i could have her for like every class! hah too bad : ( ! ne way! today was my first day in high school! and in reg. school for that matter...it was cool but i kept gettin lost. and i dont kno ne body in my classes cept one. and im like a loner! o well ill make friends! hopefully!  and on the bus i sit in the front alone! jen was making fun : ( ! i think its sad! shoot im just to cool for those kids! lol. aw and i got to see sam! shes in my 4th period! so much fun already! shes so funny! i saw lindsay! and christina! and mandy! and kyla! aww i love kyla! and i saw heather! omg heather! i love u! and mikey! i see him everyday but it was cool seeing him at school for the first time in 2 years! and taylor! i love u! and chelsea!!! and keisha! and tiffany smith! and like everyone from my soccer team! and i saw joey! aw i missed him!  and psh im telling u like everyone in the world but o well. i was just so excited about ms van hook really! oh yah and im doin cross country. psh me run! hah funny. o well i can get into shape!  at least ms van hook is gonna be right there doing it too! and my brother (kayla) will be there to complain to! shoot what r brothers for kayla!? lol i love u by the way!  : ) !  aw at lunch i sit with nicole and some other people who dont matter...but nicole!! aw i love her! she let me wear her bracelet for like 2 classes! aw! lol. aw! and 3v3 was so fun! i didnt even play but shoot i played by my self! it was still fun tho. so scary when it starting raining but it was fun getting soaked and falling down when i tried to kick the darn ball! psh good thing no one was looking! ok i think thats about everything. oh one more thing. i feel a lottt better about monica. i keep thinking about her and stuff but i kno shes prolly happey where ever she is so im happy!  k and one more thing kayla...u better frickin update ur journal since i did. shoot. and put luigi up there! or...NOT UR FRIEND! k THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT 4 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

Never under estimate my Jesus... [07 Aug 2004|01:49am] [ mood | sad. but no one knows. ] [ music | Relient K ] im only writin in this shizz cause i found out muh friend got killed. monia drapper. i dont kno if you guys saw it on the news but when it happend i was in cali. so i just found out yesterday. she was the one who was left home with an uncle n her brother and her uncle took off and her boyfriend killed her. so i just want you guys to pray for her and her family. no one really understands how sad i am. thats ok tho. i dont want to sound like im selfish or ne thing. just i wish there was SOMONE who understood. it sucks when ur the only one.  just pray please...k? i know its bad but when i first found out. i thought. "why couldnt it have been me"? i dont kno why but i think i deserve it before ne one else in this world. she prolly had a lot more to offer. not that i want to die or ne thing. just that i dont think im really a difference in ne ones life or ne thing. i kno she did. ah it just sucks. THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT 6 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

so let me slip away... [15 Jul 2004|01:10am] [ mood | content ] [ music | Dashboard Confessional ] so dudes... im goin home saturday night. ill be home sunday morninG. at first i was happy but now when its right around the corner...: ( im gonna miss my daddy. well im not in the mood to be sad so off that shizz. i went to the dentist today...ah i hate the dentist but i love my dentist to its all good. hes so nice to me! whut else woah i need to get packed. i have a lot more now than what i came with so i think i need another bag. and half the stuff i brought i didnt even wear! ah im a loser so school starts soon... im kinda nervous. all the teachers kno that im coming from CEP. kind  of embarrassing to me. dont even kno me and they will already have an opionin...o well hopefully i can change that. Um lauren fusan and kayla parrish have a B-ball game. 1v1. its gonna be tight fa sho. U r invited to watch...i will be taking bets people. lol jp jp. im bored. THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT 2 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

did i miss your call again? NO you never called it was the thought inside my head. [06 Jul 2004|03:16am] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Mest ] Yo dudes! tomorrow is muh b day! JULY 7!! FA SHO the big 1-5. hah right. well ne ways!! oma is coming today!!! im soo happy!! woo hoo! i cant think of ne thing to say WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!? o well ill just show u pics of my wives! lol! HAHA! jp i have one for each day of the week!  jaime pagliarulo! awesome  Aly wagner! pimppin  Lindsay Lohan! awesome and pimp! DOUBLE DOSE!  Anna kournikova!  ellen degeneres! lol shes so funny!   abby wambach! (right) whew. no comment. hhaha.   last but not least... Posh spice everybody!! lol k now uve seen my wives 4 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

I miss you less, with each day your gone. [03 Jul 2004|02:08am] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | matchbook romance ]                           parents n shizz. I use to cry all the time. and for what? what is so bad about my life? i'm the luckiest person alive. no one knows how i really feel about things. thats why i want to put it in here. im a private person. i shouldnt care what people think. i usually dont. but when i talk to people who i know. and who "know" me they tell me what i should change about me. what i should do. like they know me. like they really care or somthing. im not stupid. i kno what to do and what not to do. and im not a bad person. i love and care about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE i just dont show it. maybe thats what makes me dumb. i have allways been afraid to be alone. to have no one. no one who understands me.no one who cares. well i know now that i have a lot of people who care for me and who understand me. they just wernt the people who i wanted to care. i always want what i cant have the most. or who i cant have. and im always worrying about what i dont have. instead of being happy about what i do have. i ALWAYS tell my friends to be happy with what they have and try to encourage them to love their parents and to respect them because no one will ever love them like their parents. im so pissed that i actually felt sorry for my self. because my mom and dad arnt there. and they never will be. they wont see me grow up. they wont see me play soccer or get to experience my frist day back at a real school. and my first day of high-school. and really i dont think my mom cares to see those things at all. i pray every night that god will help her get better and make her stop using the drugs and to love me. nothing ever changes. does God hear me? yes. this is the way things are suppose to be. i might not have my mom or dad there. but i do have a lot of other people. and i should love and respect them like they were my parents.                                                                     bad? alot of people think im "bad". and i cant have certain friends becasue of their parents. ive always gotten it. ive always cried over it. im not bad. let me clear it all up for you guys. and you can either believe me. or the rumors that fly around. I wasnt kicked out of ocoee middle school. my mom. yes my wonderful mom. put me into c.e.p. she talked to the school about it and they siad they could get me in if it was what she wanted. she siad yes. she told my oma that i would only be there for like 3 months. so my oma said ok. i have never told anyone that. why? i dont really care. the people who think im bad and who wont hang around me and the people who talk about me are the ones who dont care enough to give me a chance. so why should i care what they think. i use to love being the class clown. yah i have a lot of "friends" from being so funy in class. but my real friends are the ones who begged me to stop. who told me that they didnt want to see me get hurt. i know that now. i dont want to be the one who everone knows because of bad things.                                                                            love      . i have this friend. and i love her so much. i dont think she knows it. but i always have loved her. and i wanted to be apart of her life so bad! but she doesnt want me. she doesnt need me. im just here. just someone to talk to every now and then. well if u kno who u r.  I LOVE  YOU. and i would do ANYTHING for u. ANYTHING! but i hate it. i fuckin hate it. i wish i could hate u. i wish you were just like everyone else. but ur not. i dream about u. i always think about u. i worry about u. i pray for u everynight. i pray that u will always be safe. and that ur happy with what ever your doing. and that you find your love that u are longing for. just like i long for u. but i desided today that. i dont want to talk to u. because it just hurts me. if u talk to me. if u want me. then im here. i am always willing to be a friend. but if not. then o well. i have too much to be worring and to be sad over this. i dont think anyone will ever love u like i do. or look at u like i do. or feel u like i do. or miss u like i do. or dream about u liek i do. they might come close. but no one will ever match it.                                                                 passions i love to learn. the more i learn the happier i get. i havnt shown this in a long time. this year i found out how much i have been missing out. I love to make people happy. i dont kno why but when i make somone laugh or smile or make somone feel special. thats when im happy. I love to be a help. anytime im needed or i do something out of the blue like a  "hero" act i feel really goood. i love soccer. im not that great. but i probably would be a lot better if i would have just practiced andand actually played all these years i did retarded things i forgot how much i really love soccer. im admiting that i have made a lot of mistakes. and i have hurt a lot of people. not just me. and i have done a lot of stupid things that have wrecked my rep. and im sorry to anyone who has been affected by my dumb mistakes and bad judgements. i will never ever ever do anything that i have done over the past years. THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT 4 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

You sunk your worth in being different,just to be like your own kind. [02 Jul 2004|04:21am] [ mood | NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPY N MY Lyf ] [ music | five iron frenzy ] im goin to W.O BABY! YESS! man the wusa deal was awesome. i met my two fav players n i saw a million others. my two favs r... ALY WAGNER! woo hoo. and jaime pagliarulo. woah awesome keeper! lOVE HER! dudes like no one knows jaime! makes me like her even more! haha. but shes awesome! come on guys she needs some fans! ne ways. hm im bored. its really late. i have no idea why im up late cause i woke up at friggan 7 30 wut the heck. but hm. my buddy left me!! lauren! man im so sad dudes! :( i wont get to tlk to her EVERYDAY now! sheese! lol jp jp. ok well this little journal is gonna be stupid n boring cause well. psh i really dont care! THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT! can u bring me my chapstick?

My favoite color is red, like the blood shed.from Kurt Cobain's head, when he shot himself dead. [25 Jun 2004|12:38am] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | eminem-cum on everybody. ] hey dudes! woah im really excited about the 2004 WUSA Festival. woo its gonna be funnnn.!  k ne ways on a sad note!  im really missing muh cuh lauren! its been a whole week or so since ive ttlked to u lauren!!! cOME HOME!!! lol. hmm what else....hollad is going to win!!! gO HOLLAND! boo Switzerland!!! boo boo boo. if u dudes didnt know my family is from holland and thats why ima fan! fa sho!  well i really dont know what else to say man...im just so tireeddd. i havnt slept in over 24 hours!! 27 to be exact. ok ne ways. um. well maybe this is kind of mean but me my dad and sister are going to one of our friends "soccer partys" and shes from switzerland. but she doesnt kno that we r for holland. so we are gonna go over there in a bunch of holland clothes!! lol badass's right?! well we r gonna be the only holland fans there. its gonna be sad when they lose. aww i feel for them! SIKE! n u guys better wear orange and go for holland! support a pal...commee onnnnn! k goin to sleep.                       THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT   6 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

so sick. so sick of this. [23 Jun 2004|05:07am] [ mood | artistic ] [ music | the ocean ] i dont think. I know do u love me? no I’m so sick. so sick of this I’m so sick So sick of this Spending all my time Trying to draw the line you’re all I need you’re all I really need wasting every second Of every hour Of every day Thinking. Wishing. wanting For you to want me In any way I’m so sick of giving time Of giving effort Of giving love To someone Who wont even nudge   So I’m giving up Not something that I’m known for Usually I wont shut the door Until I win But it looks like This is a Lose lose Situation But ill need some separation If I’m going to get over you If I’m going to get over you…   This is so sick Thinking I would stick With this shit Thinking I would stick With this shit You thought you had me On a string Dangling, obeying Every word you said Obeying every single word you said. Why do I love you? God has cursed me With this sin God please forgive me for this sin I want to hate you! I want to leave you cold and dry! I want to find u stranded! And I wish I could leave you to die!       So I’m giving up Not something that I’m known for Usually I wont shut the door Until I win But it looks like This is a Lose lose Situation But ill need some separation If I’m going to get over you If I’m going to get over you…     2 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

Dont believe me when i tell you.it's just what anyone would do [22 Jun 2004|12:39am] [ mood | grateful ] [ music | Taking back sunday ]       To my friends TAKE MY DAMN QUIZZ! IT TOOK ME A MILLION YEARS TO MAKE IT!!!Well dudes this journal is to my friends...all 3 of them! lol jk.  you guys have no idea how much you have helped me. just by being my friend. you get my mind off things. and you helped me to have a more open mind. im not saying im a close minded person but. all you kno is what you grew up with. and most of my friends have a totally different life style than me. And im glad that i can learn from you dudes. i dont know if everyone knows who they are so i made a little list of anyone who i think i shouold point out. that had an impact on my life. for the better Michael-mike. now that you have a puter u can finally do stupid crap like this! so i just wanted you to kno that ur muh best bud! ANd i love you!  and ur apart of the family now! great rihgt? oma loves u! lol. Taylor- your like a sister. we fight like sisters. we tell stories like sistas! at one time we were BEST FRIENDS but im glad with lookin at u like family. no best friend can come between that. im always here for you. I LOVE YOU Chelsea- wow what can i say? your an awesome person. and a great friend. you can always talk to me about ne thing dude! im glad we are cool now. really made me happier. lauren-GRANDMA! you know how i feel about you! there is no words to describe how much i ADORE YOU! ur so cool! ne time niko gives u a hard time. remember im the number one BADASS i can beat him up! i dont care if hes bigger than me! shooot! hah jk. I LOVE YOU! Tricia-dude i grew up with you! since before i can remember we were best buds dude. im always here for you! no DOUBT! Johnny-JOHANTHAN! dude i had a "crush" on you in beginning of 6th grade. lol . woah have i grown up since then. haha. i love you! and i miss you! im always here for you. ill try my best to always keep you smiling. i HATE to see u sad! nicole-you were there for me in the hardest time of my life! my parents made me move. and go to new school. with new friends. and my dad lost his job and blah blah. ill never forget how you and your family helped me through such tough times. THANKS i love you! and i cant wait to come visit! u can always tlk to me! Kim-my 2nd mom! dude u truly will make an awesome mom! i mean your doing a great job with me! look im gettin to be a better person by the second! big props! ur a great friend and ive learned a lot from you. keisha-muh sexy white chocolate friend! haha. dude i love you! i never wanted to "stop hanging out with you" we all just started drifting. ne ways! i love you! we need to chill! kayla- lol i made sure you were 10 bra!  your a great person. and took advantage of that. im really sorry for being such a loser. lol. im glad things are cool now. wow i regreted EVERYTHING i ever did or said. i wanted to fix it for soo long. i was really sad. i gave up an AWESOME friend. i guess this is like a 2nd chance or somting. i dun kno! what is it?! but who cares im just glad that i dont have to live forever regreting somthing. not good.! ne ways! wow urs is long. lol. I LOVE U! maybe im not a great help. but ne time ur sad or mad or ne thing. u can tlk to me. i WILL listen. fa sho! k thats all i need to point out! I LOVE YOU! sorry im not a help in ur lives like u r in mine! : / can u bring me my chapstick?

Please just don't play with me.My paper heart will bleed [21 Jun 2004|02:18am] [ mood | mischievous ] [ music | The All-american rejects ] Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!Hmm. its late and there is NOTHING else to do so i desided to write in this thing. my day was preddy good. as u all know today was fathers day. and well my dad was being a totall BUTT! why? i have no clue. but it was better in the end. i just played a lil soccer -N- chilled really. fun fun right? i think tomorrow since everyone is working im gonna get on the buss and go to the mall.im kinda scared ill get lost but o well. i finally got that manual u have to read to get your learners or w.e. i havnt started reading it yet but.i will. one day. JULY 7th! my b-day yall...dont forget ; )! ne ways. everyone seemed like they were sad today! EVERYONE that i talked to on aim n everything. weird. im the only one who was OK. well they seemed sad. but what do i know. i hate talking to people who feel bad cause i want so bad to make them feel better but with most the people i talk to i dont know if i have that place so i just leave them alone.ah i hate it! for like the past three years i havnt been the best person.and i wasnt happy. but now that i moved and i grew up a lot. in like the past 2 or so months ive grown up SOOO much. i dont know if anyone can tell but i can. i use to just do whatever i wanted and i would worry about my friends and not about my family or even my self. but now im so carefull about my priorities. why am i telling you guys this? pssh who knows.im a loser. : \ . well i sure have a lot to say for somone who is rather tired. i probably wouldnt have much to say if i could have talked to some peeps who wernt either pissed off or SAD!  U KNO WHO U R ! even though u say ur "ok" pssh CHYA right. well ne ways. sorry i couldnt help. i kno u prolly didnt want it in the first place but ill say sorry ne ways. so SORRY!again THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT     2 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

i still. smell her on you. [19 Jun 2004|08:38pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | NiRvaNa ] why am i writing in this DAMN thing?! no one says ne thing! o well. i guess im a loser who likes to write to her self! nothing wrong with that.but if ur going to friggan take time out to read the shizz. why not. say somthing. GOSH! lol jk. DO WHAT U WANT! I DONT NEED U!! SHOOOT! :/ well today i went to some park. and played a lil soccer. it was fun. my dad isnt that great. he should stick to surfing n skateboarding fa sho! ne who. i got preddy bangged up cause there was no way i was letting my dad or my lil sister score on me. and thank god i was having a good day. no mess ups. whew. ne ways. i came out my the little "box" and slid to get the ball and i wonder why i wear sliders cause they DIDNT WORK! my legg/butt hurts so bad! it was bleeding! sheese.  hm wat else. i miss talking to my friends on the damn computer. when i have a lil free time no one is on. cause they r sleeping GOSH! anD about the whole moving here thing well foget that cause there is a lot of things i want to fix. plus i cant leave OCOEE! i mean come on! haha. and i am getting close to some peeps i dont want to leave. iD miss them wayyyy tooo much! YOU  KNOW WHO U R! im so bored right now! i wish i was home so i could just call somone n make plans!  im so lonely! GOSH! and i still have a loooong month hurr. but it will be better when my oma comes for my Bday! yay! i saw harry potter the other day. that was awesome! i loved it. i CANT WAIT for spider man to come out!  well thats all ive got to say about that.   And I've got this friend, you see. Who makes me feel. and I. Wanted more than I could steal. I'll arrest myself. I'll wear a shield. I'll go out of my way. to prove I still. I still. smell her on you. 4 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

another sunny day in cali-4-ni-A [19 Jun 2004|01:45pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | yellowcard ] dudes. i have no reason to go home. im really thinking about moving here. im just really confused about what to do. so STRESSFUllllll! sheese. i dont really feel that good today. kinda tired.sick.lazy.lonely. all those great things i just love to feel. pssh. ne ways. its late and i have plans to go play soccer at some  weird place tomorrow so maybe i should just leave this damn journal boring. not like ne ones gonna read it ne way! GOSH! hah. peace can u bring me my chapstick?

If you can't leave it be. might as well make it BLEED * [18 Jun 2004|10:46pm] [ mood | dorky ] [ music | dashboard confessional ] woah dudes. this thing is so friggan confusing. BUT isnt this like so cool! omg omg omg. ill make sure i write in this thing once a year. WOO HOO props to muh dawg kayla. she made the whole wave deal. preddy pimppin. n i dont get it cause no one is gona comment on this shiz! but its ok! ILL COMMENT MY SELF! shooot. hah. ok thats all. 6 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

LIKE OMG! [18 Jun 2004|01:18am] [ mood | loved ] KAYLA ROCK MY SOCKS 2 lips hurt really bad | can u bring me my chapstick?

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